My niece cheering on Lee

There is a little television show called American Idol.  Have you heard of it?  Well it is a competition to find the next big singing star and it caused a bit of hoopla in my hometown last week.  Lee DeWyze, one of the three finalists and a native of Mt. Prospect, came home for a parade and concert.  As a once in a lifetime event, I had to be there.  So I walked downtown and met up with some of my husband’s family to welcome Lee home and wish him well.  There was such a positive vibe in the crowd.  Yes, there was some excitement of seeing a “star” and someone who was referred to more than once as “dreamy,” but there was also an overpowering feeling of support.  The people who gathered were there to show Lee that he wasn’t going it alone and that his hometown was very supportive and proud of him.  It was a very positive event in which to be a part.

Lee DeWyze

Not to take away from Lee, but I began to think of some others who have made it big yet they did not receive this hero’s welcome.  There are two Emmy Award winners and a Pulitzer Prize winner all also from Mt. Prospect, but they didn’t receive a key to the city.  Imagine if they did.  Imagine if a few times of year we all gathered to celebrate the successes of our neighbors.  Then I took it one layer deeper.  There are some exceptional people in my life that are not award winners but deserve all the fanfare, support, and recognition that Lee does.  Imagine if we could hold a parade for the nurse that really took care of your loved one, for the teacher who encourages your child, or for the individual who said the right thing at the right time to help you succeed.

I was trying to think of a momentous idol in my life, but instead the person who came to mind is a simple man who lives two blocks away.  I don’t know too much about him.  Actually, I don’t know anything about him except his house number is the same as mine.  But I do know that he is a sweet, generous, and caring man.  A package was delivered to his home instead of mine.  He could have simply called UPS and had them re-route the box, but instead he dropped it off for me.  This may not seem like a big deal, but it was too me.  I really was looking forward to receiving the package.  But what really touched me was that he went out of his way for me.  I was deeply affected by his gesture, perhaps because it was a sincere act of giving in a world that can be so self-centered and fear-focused.

Who are the Idols in your life?  Who are the people that make you proud?  Who are the people who deserve recognition for all the good that they do?   Let’s create our own online parade.  Leave a reply to this blog posting and recognize the idols in your life.  Who are they?  Why are they your idol?  Share with us so that we can recognize all the unsung heroes.

A big thank you to all of you who contacted me with your concern, support, and empathy in regards to my last post.  I was truly moved by the outpouring of empathy for my situation and the recognition of my vulnerability.  My mother’s surgery went very well and she is recovering nicely.  But as fate would have it, we are not out of the woods.  Unfortunately it appears that cancer has again reared its head in our family.

photo by dinny

Although this is a trying time, I feel blessed to go through it.  No, really I do.  You see, now I will have a chance to practice what I preach.  As I tell clients every day, self improvement is about a set of habits and tools to use daily, not a program what one learns and then goes back into their daily life.  These tools are there to call on when things get rough or when we are pulled off course – just like I was recently.

So my first step was to go back to taking care of myself.  That means getting enough rest, eating the best foods for me, and just increasing my awareness for my needs.  I think so many times when things are rough or busy we don’t even notice what we need or that we have stopped giving to ourselves.  Sometimes we do not believe we have the time to do what we usually do; responsibilities are added and all of a sudden we no longer can find time in the day to exercise.  Or we put others’ needs before our own; we justify that helping others is more important than helping ourselves.  Or we jump on the perseverance bandwagon; “if I can just make it through this week, month, year then I will have time for myself again.”  But all of those tactics just lead to one being depleted, angry, and tired.  Like a young child who doesn’t get their nap, we are irritable, unable to function, and no good to anyone.  It is important to remember what they say on the airplane, “put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”  We NEED to take care of ourselves.  We NEED to nurture ourselves.  Otherwise we have nothing to give to anyone else.

Along with taking care of myself, a hard step for me is asking for help.  I have an awesome triad of coaches that I can call on day or night for support, understanding, or coaching.  But all too often I jump into that perseverance mode. I believe that I can make it through this rough time alone.  But I can tell you that after a 45 minute conversation with my fellow coach I was able to make the mental shift I needed to address things differently.  I was able to let go of some things that were holding me back and to reframe the situation I was experiencing.  It is so important to remember that we are not going it alone.  That no matter what our friends and family are experiencing, they can find the time to be there for us.  We do not have to handle anything on our own.

Thanks to your touching support and concern, I have turned back to the facets of Consciously Being Blissful – awareness, acceptance, authenticity, allowing, appreciation, and acknowledging.  It is amazing too.  Nothing has changed in my circumstances.  There are still people experiencing cancer, there are still people in recovery, and I am still in the challenging growth phase of my business, but now I see this all with other eyes.  This experience has really shown me that we can choose our own happiness.  We can control the life we have.  No, we can not always control the circumstances, but we can control our thoughts and reactions to those circumstances.  We are amazing and powerful beings.  We always have control.  We always have power.

As you go through your day, notice times you feel trapped or victimized.  Then think of the power or choice you have in that circumstance.  And think of where you want to put your focus.  If you are diagnosed with cancer, how long will you focus on the anger or fear of your diagnosis?  What does that give you besides more anger and fear?  How soon could you shift your thoughts to finding the best way to treat your circumstance and to focus your time on enjoying your family instead of feeding negative emotions?

How can you make a change in your viewpoint today?