Hollyhock House

Recently my husband and I visited Los Angeles.  As he is a bit of an architecture fan we spent some time touring homes and buildings.  High over the city, we visited Frank Lloyd Wright’s prairie-style Hollyhock House with its incredible merging of nature and the indoors.  In Pasadena we saw arts and crafts houses built in the early 1900′s.  These homes had stained glass and beautiful wood.  Santa Monica boasted cute beach cottages with pastel colored cement walls and tiny gardens.  Driving down Sunset Strip to the ocean we viewed large houses of every style and influence; Victorian painted ladies, 1980′s glass and stucco, English manors, and modern brick mansions.  In viewing all these different style homes, it struck me how on the outside all of these homes looked different; different shapes, different colors, different building materials, different doors, windows, and rooflines, but in their base purpose they are all identical.  Their purpose is to provide shelter.  They are all the same while each is still unique.

Pasadena Arts and Crafts Home

Each home is unique because it is designed for a specific purpose and reason.  No home has more value than another.  It does not matter if you like one style of house over another, if you prefer brick, stucco, or wood.  Your preference does not make one structure better than another.  Is a Victorian house better than an English tutor?  Don’t they each have their own role and purpose?  A rooftop pool home in Cabo San Lucas may be gorgeous but does it make any sense in Nome Alaska?  Each home serves a purpose and it has value in serving that purpose.

My thoughts quickly switched from buildings to people.  We are each unique.  It is apparent in our eye color, our hair color, and our skin tone.  We are unique in our clothing, our jewelry, and if we have piercings or tattoos.  Differences are in how we talk, what we talk about, and what we value.  We are unique in where we live, how we live, and what we love.  We are unique in our humor, our knowledge base, and our careers.  But how often do we criticize, fear, or belittle those who are different from us?  How often do we become frustrated, angry, and disappointed by those who do not think and act the way we do?  How often do we forget that we are all the same and that we all have value?

1950's Modern

All too often we focus on what we personally like and desire, and in doing so we unintentionally criticize and devalue others.  When I was in Peru, Shaman Don Theo suggested that we do not call one thing “beautiful,” for in doing so we are implying that all other things are ugly.  If we say we love chocolate, are we implying that we hate vanilla?  If we say that skinny leg jeans are the coolest thing ever, are we insulting and belittling anyone not wearing them?

The ability to accept and love others as they are brings with it a sense of peace.  All too often our ego tries to protect itself by diminishing anything that is not like itself.  Unfortunately the result is personal pain.  We attack and belittle any style, person, or belief that does not match our own.  We try to force others to say and do and believe what we do.  When we can not get them to change, we feel hurt, angry, disappointed, and vulnerable.  We can not change others.  We are all unique and inherently of value.  Most important, we gain our strength from our inside, from our being, not by being surrounded by other who mimic us.

How often is our anger and pain based on others not doing, saying, or being as we wish they would be?  Are there times you have caught yourself hoping that a person would change how they act or what they say?  Are there times that you made fun of someone because they did not dress or believe as you do?  What could you gain by accepting that person as they are?

“Form the intention to work on the problem, and then trust the part of you to work on it.”  You may be thinking that this came from the sequel to The Secret which describes how to use the Law of Attraction – set your intention then trust it will occur.  But no, this was the research conducted by the Kellogg School of Management (http://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/index.php/Kellogg/article/too_conscious_to_decide).

The management article outlines research conducted on choosing.  What I learned from the research was:  1) simple decisions were better made cognitively, more complex decisions were better made going with one’s gut, 2) decisions were better made not when one concentrated on what to do, but by setting the intention to solve the problem then distracting the conscious mind.  What I heard in this research was proof that our essential selves, our body compasses, our internal source, and/or the god within is a better judge of what is right for us than our conscious mind.

How often do we think and think and think through a problem only to feel that the logical answer is not correct?  How often do we become sad and depressed when the logical, cognitive answer is not the one that makes our heart sing?  How often do we receive flashes of insight on what to do or say?  How often do we just “feel in our gut” what to do?

Back in the day, I pursued a career in theatre.  I enjoyed directing but I ran into trouble in graduate school.  The teachers wanted me to explain every choice I made.  Why did I have the actor move stage right?  Why is the actor using an Irish brogue?  Why did I choose a pink dress for the leading lady?  Why did I include an owl hooting in the last scene?  They wanted me to detail the reasoning for every nuance of the play.  I couldn’t.  I never made a conscious decision as to any element of the play.  In fact, any time I tried to be cleaver it did not turn out quite right.  Most of the time, I would just sit and read the script and as I read the words the play came alive to me.  I would just see the play – the actions, sound, lights, and sets – playing out in my mind’s eye.  All I did was write down what I saw.

The Kellogg article states, “For unconscious thought to work, it needs to be goal directed.  You need to form an intention to work on a problem, and then divert attentions elsewhere.  It’s all about intention and trust.”  Intention and trust are two powerful words.  Intention is very important.  All too often we go throughout life without direction, without goals, without a destination and then we are also disappointed that we do not have the life we desire.  To gain what we desire, we need to put out to the universe what it is that we want.  What is our intention?  What do we want to solve, gain, or lose?  By setting an intention, we are placing our order with the universe.

Intention is easy – we just need to remember to do it.  Trust is hard.  Trust means letting go of control and getting out of the driver’s seat.  Trust means accepting when things come to us and how they come.  Trust means more than believing but knowing that what we asked for we will receive.  Trust means distracting the mind and then sitting silently with one’s self and allowing the answer to come.  And trust means accepting the answer that comes to us through means other than through logic.

Has there been a time that you set an intention and trusted that it would come true?  Was there a time when you went with your gut and things turned out better than you could have imagined had you followed the logical course?  Share with us your experiences with intuition, intention, and trust.